~Packing my bags for Italia so reposting my observations from bella Roma…Ciao!~
La vita e bella…la dolce vita. Italy is a paradox. Life is so much simpler in Italy yet so much more difficult. There are so many comforts we take for granted in the USA that are missing in Italy that would enhance everyday life. And yet there is happiness here. Contentment. A sense of calm and acceptance. Calibrated expectations on what to aspire for in life.
My sense is their secret is to prioritize the important things in life and learn to live with less. Embrace community, family and friends. Make do with what you have and don’t desire more. There doesn’t seem to be a constant quest for materialism, to continuously acquire and consume more. Be satisfied with what you have. Success is not measured by the number of Fiats you have in your garage.
Perhaps it’s due to the social safety net (yes, I realize socialism is an ugly word in the USA). Life is more integrated and connected, with the majority of Italians using great public transportation like trains, buses, and metro. Churches are like Starbucks here, with one on nearly every corner, for misguided Italians to wander in and privately pray at any time of day. Meals are an event, to be shared with loved ones – you rarely see Italians dine alone or indulge in the fast-food lifestyle (the drive-thru window where we scarf a burger down alone in our minivan is a ludicrous concept to them). Walking is a lifestyle, not a chore, so bumping into neighbors and friends creates more interaction. Literally all your personal space is violated in public, with people sidling right up next to you on park benches, young lovers passionately kissing each other in full view, couples fighting, guys in impeccably dressed suits screaming on their ubiquitous mobile phones, mothers overindulging their bambini, old men obliviously lighting up cigarettes just inches from your nose. Yes, it can all be absolutely annoying at times, but it’s also beautiful to witness people playing out their lives in public. Everything is shared: the streets are crowded, the piazzas are full, the cafes are slammed – even the road will jam two Fiats, a Ducati and a Vespa in a single lane! The chaos is maddening, yet orchestrated like a beautiful symphony.
It’s the absence of excess that is perhaps most striking to me. Excess doesn’t seem to be in their DNA. Their mantra may just be bigger is not always better. You don’t see obesity as portions are significantly smaller, albeit tastier. {Sidenote: It is rumored Starbucks has not entered the Italian market due to not only being intimidated by the quality of Italian coffee, but also that Italians will never desire to take away their coffee in large paper cups. So I was stunned to see a cafe offering three sizes of takeaway coffee in Campo de’ Fiori. But what cracked me up was their three choices of sizes: Starbucks Tall/Grande/Venti are 12/16/20 ounces respectively; their three choices were 4/8/12 ounces. Their largest size was Starbuck’s smallest size! I watched a young lady happily order her 4 oz cappuccino in a tiny paper cup, fully content with just the few sips of robust coffee as she strolled out into the piazza. This epitomized the vast difference in portion sizes between our two cultures. And yet now, in early 2017, Starbucks will open its first store in Milan}. Italians love their vino with meals, but you don’t see abusive or drunken behavior (even among their youth despite no minimum drinking age). Violence, rape and homicide is virtually nonexistent. Italians are notorious for corruption, strikes and amorous adventures that get them in trouble so they have their own issues.
In terms of material possessions, Italians don’t seem to define themselves by their pursuit to acquire things. Of course, we all aspire for great quality of life and desire nice things, but abundance is not in their vocabulary. Success is not measured by the amount of square feet in their apartments (which isn’t much) or number of flatscreen TVs in their home. Owning a car appears to be a luxury in most major cities, so striving for two or three is not the priority.
My observations here may be biased, but there are distinct cultural differences on attitudes towards life and what qualifies as a rich, fulfilling existence. Even though I don’t see many of the comforts that make my life so much easier, I realize just how much more prevalent the trap of consumerism is back home. The never ending rat race to chase the almighty dollar, where winning is defined by possessions. Italy is indeed a paradox, but one that often makes me question my definition of success and what my prevailing priorities should be. La dolce vita may just be how sweet the Italians have created their own beautiful life without the desire for excess.