Perhaps we should amend the famous cliche by adding the following: The only thing certain in life is death and taxes…and stress! None of us can escape stress – it is, quite simply, omnipresent and ubiquitous in our busy lives today like a toxic element that floats in the air that we all breathe. The modern world moves at a heightened pace, elevating all our senses. Everything moves faster, reverberates louder and unfolds in real-time, with the expectation we process and respond in an elevated manner.
Stress causes adrenal fatigue, creating a constant elevation of cortisol levels (cortisol is your body’s main stress hormone, your internal alarm system). It’s like driving your car at a higher RPM than necessary; it’s an unnatural state for your body. This triggers inflammation and compromises your immune system and puts your body at dis-ease. Websters defines stress as a bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existing equilibrium. Simply put, we are out of balance in our daily lives as stress throws our bodies out of its inherent harmony.
So what exactly is stress? I could crash my website naming all the legitimate stress factors but it all starts and ends with our thoughts: It’s how we view and interpret the stress factor; the stress happens in us, not to us. When we perceive a threat to our body or our ego, whether it’s real or not, our body floods it with cortisol. Whether you believe that lightning will strike you or think your boss is going to fire you (even if he is not), it produces the same response in our body. Your mind is dictating the reaction based on your perception of the thoughts, imaginary or real.
To illustrate this, let’s follow a common scenario: You are late for a very important client meeting, stuck in traffic on a hot day. It’s bumper to bumper and you’re already 20 minutes behind schedule for your 3 o’clock meeting. You feel agitated, honking your horn, pushing buttons, turning the radio dial. Your palms are sweaty and all your muscles tighten up. Road rage kicks in as you change lanes, then back again, silently cursing at all the other drivers. You bang your fist on the steering wheel, wiping the sweat off your brow. Your mind is racing, buzzing like a fridge. Finally, the slow crawl opens up and you see your exit ahead. You peel out on to the shoulder lane and see your destination on the horizon. You check your watch. 3:35 You’re a hot mess. You pull into the parking lot and race in to the lobby of the building, only to discover the room is empty. Where is your client?! You hit the panic button, sweating profusely. Everything is a disaster and you look just like The Scream image above, feeling an altered existing equilibrium as you are WAY out of balance. No messages on your phone, you check your calendar. Meeting scheduled at 4:00, not 3:00. Your mind blows up while your body simultaneously decompresses, a rare non-convergence of the Mind Body Connection. But your mind quickly catches up, realizing this is good news, and syncs with your body to allow you to ultimately calm down.
If we examine this, we realize all of this stress overload was of our own making. Within all of the universe, ONLY you had the expectation to be there by 3:00, thereby putting your mind in a frenzy. Imagine if we got in our car at the same time but correctly knew all along our meeting was at 4:00. How calm we would have been in traffic, enjoying the music rather than flipping manically thru the dial, and not sweating a drop. All this commotion was internal, happening in us, not to us. We created this entire scene of chaos in our mind, with no external forces at play.
If we can agree with this premise that stress is an outcome of your thoughts, then it only makes sense to explore how to control and manage these thoughts. After all, if we all want to reduce stress and the power lies within us (to some degree), what could be more valuable?
It starts with awareness, offering the ability to observe our thoughts. Our minds are whirling (please see my blog The Mind’s Merry Go Round) with a cascade of thoughts. When we feel anxious, agitated, angry or any other negative emotion, we tense up and go into dis-ease. But if we hold these thoughts in awareness, not clinging or attaching to them, recognizing they are just a powerful negative energy swirling in our minds, we can slowly allow ourselves to let go. With a few deep breaths, we can decompress by focusing on very slowly inhaling and then exhaling, providing an anchor to your chaotic mind. Or try this visualization: Ice to water…melting; water to gas…vaporizing, as your whole body softens, especially in the neck and shoulder area, melting and then ultimately vaporizing.
Dealing with stress is part of everyday life, but we can successfully mitigate much of it with mindful awareness. Observe how your thoughts color your judgment and attitude with such toxicity, and realize you have the power to detach from them. It is only when you hold tight and cling to them that they will control you. So next time you are stuck in traffic, desperately late for a meeting, check both your thoughts and your calendar!
A picture says a 1,000 words and, in this case, actually fits your content so well. Nice combination on a well written piece, well done!
is stress even silent anymore? I think not, from the full time noise around my apartment (leaf blowers) to traffic to bills, it is hard to find peace of mind
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When I am stressed, I have anxiety, constant fatigue, no energy, loss of appetite, excessive smoking, a short temper, prone to tears or outbursts, and excessive spending. If that is not a silent killer, what is?
Death, taxes, stress…indeed! Stress is universal and needs to be cared for by all in each our own way, cheers.
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This is an incredibly well-written blog. I’ve studied the complex issue of stress and find this a succinct explanation. There is much much more to explore on this
Stress harms us, hurts us, and can kill us for all the reasons you rightfully stated here. It is part of life but coping needs to be made to understand. Thanks for a great read.
Amazing post and straight to the point. Stress is a killer, indeed, but occurs in slow motion little by little drop by drop.
Good evening! This post could not be written any better! Stress is universal and everywhere like the air we breathe. How we find a way to deal with it is the chance for peace.
Good day, This post could not be written any better. Stress is ubiquitous in our lives and needs to be dealt with in new ways. Thanks for sharing.
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Stress is so pervasive in society it seems the norm and to be accepted. We are allowed to complain about our body aches but if the mind is troubled then we are viewed as damaged. I hope your message gets heard, thank you
Stress is everywhere, from my family to work to money to traffic! I like what you say and how you say it and hope I can try to practice this as any chance to reduce it will be a good thing in my life. I know I am aware, but I am really aware???
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece! Sometimes life is moving so fast I miss the opportunity to live it. No one to blame but myself. I think I could definitely benefit from a slower pace, yet friends and family would say that if I moved any slower I’d be going backwards. I think just to “keep up” makes it a silent killer, but to see it as something IN us gives me great perspective, thank you.
If we really stop to examine our lives, I am not so sure stress is ‘silent’ anymore. It is banging loud all day and we are just not listening to try to stop it or know how. Great tips here on awareness and dealing with it, but I feel you have just scratched the surface.
Thank you for the great article. It’s a very important topic that affects everyone. You could rename the title as the loud chronic killer since it is so everywhere these days.
This is just a fabulous post and truly so in line with everything I believe in! My wish is you write more on this, including remedies to help de-stress, thnx! 🙂
For years I have been trying to reduce the effects of stress in my life by avoiding stress itself, which in my circumstances is impossible. Reading this and many books to retrain my mind has helped immensely to lower levels. Good post.
OMG, that is so me in that traffic scene! I think it is so true that much comes from in us, in our head, and we need to decipher that. It is empowering to realize maybe we control much of this and can calm our own selves down, cheers!